The little things

There are things in your life and in your child's life that you might see as small insignificant events, when in reality, they are HUGE to your child.

My inspiration for this blog comes from the end of the school year "awards" they give away. My daughter is in Kindergarten, and her awards were on Monday. I got there at 12:30 because for these events, you MUST get there early or there is NO seating.

I sat in the very front row of the four rowed makeshift seating out of cafeteria tables. (These things are so tiny, and not made for tall parents! :P ) I waited for a while until the little Kindergarteners all shuffled in, hands fidgeting, feet stumbling, and every single one scanning the room for their parent/s.

My little one spotted me right away, and a huge smile spread across her lips, followed by blushing. They sat in lines by class, and being in the front, I was right behind all these tiny people. A lot of them were whispering back and forth "Where's my Mom" "Do you see my Dad?" I realized I was one of the few parents there. There was maybe 20-25 parents to these 50-60 kids. Some of the parents there were double parents, or extended family. More than half of these little kids' parents did not show up. It was clear they were heart broken.

They proceeded with the ceremony, calling each child's name and giving their awards. Each student that was called got an applause from the audience of peers and parents. It was overall a nice ordeal, but I couldn't shake all those sad faces at the realization that no one had come to support them.

I figured I'd give parents the benefit of the doubt. Maybe they had to work, maybe they had an emergency, maybe they didn't get the invite. Something always seems to come up. But when I got to my 3rd grader's award ceremony, and it was the same scene, my heart broke.

These things might be dumb to you. Yes they give out silly awards (they gave one out to the kindergarteners for stellar smile), but all of the little silly ones are just as important to your child as the serious, more notable ones, like all A's.

If kids see how proud their parent is of them, and see that their parent is there to support them, no matter what, it really does make for a happier kid. Don't miss these little moments, they mean the world to your little person.

Super Parent

What did you want to be when you grew up? I wanted to be 4 things. A singer, an actress, a lawyer, and a dentist. I remember when my mom bought me my first hand recorder (with mini tapes, so you know it was legit) and I used to sing in to it all the time! I was, of course, the best singer EVER, and why did Britney Spears have her own contract but *I* didn't?! (I was not an arrogant child... AT ALL) I'd sing to my brother, and he would tell me I was awful. I'd sing in my room to my radio, I'd listen to tapes and hit rewind on my favorite song and belt out the word over and over. I.was.awesome!

The actress thing was more for my Barbies. I'd create these huge dramatic scenes where Barbie would catch Ken with Skipper, and it was ON! Big Soap lives my Barbies led. I'd also act out my own little life dramas... in my room... alone... I remember my favorite was for when I was taking a shower. I was a peasant that was found sick, and broken down on the curb. The prince found me and DEMANDED his team of guards carry my into the castle where I'd get bathed. Shampooed with luscious smelling shampoos, body scrubbed down until red, legs shaved, teeth brushed like they've never been brushed before. Usually after that the fantasy stopped, I never actually got to meet the prince again, but that was my shower routine...

I wanted to be a lawyer for one reason, and one reason alone. I loved to argue. I was GOOD at it. I should have been a part of some sort of debate team in Middle/High School. I wanted to argue against bad people, and people that had done something wrong. I wanted to provide facts and figures and show my case was right (because I'm always right).

Being a dentist stemmed from being extremely lucky in having perfectly straight teeth, naturally. I wanted to help people feel confident in their smiles. I wanted to teach children good hygiene, so they didn't have so many problems in their teen and adult years. It was seriously a passion of mine that I actually went after for a short while until life had other plans and steered me to do other things. But I do plan on going back to school later to fulfill this dream.

Now, and a parent, I actually get to do all these things. I think it's one of my favorite things about being a parent. I'm a rock star on a regular basis, either singing to my own tune, or belting out something on the radio. My kids LOVE to sing and dance around the house. We have "dance parties" on a pretty regular basis, where we turn on YouTube, and one by one pick a song to listen to. We turn it out and dance around the living room while singing in our most obnoxious voices. We also do "no talking night" where EVERYTHING that is said, must be sang in some form. (I made up a pretty sweet rap one time)

Kids are SO dramatic! So, in mirroring (with a little more umph) their behaviors, we laugh like crazy on a regular basis. Just last night, I gave my son a pill to take before bed and he said "I don't have any water" I went on this big over dramatic production of "teaching" him what a cup was, and what the faucet does, explaining that water rushes out on you demand. The amazement/amusement in his eyes, made it all worth the 5 minute production, when I could have simply handed him a cup.

Kids fight ALL the time. You have to speak to them, and figure out the real story, gather the facts and clues (like no eye contact when telling me you didn't slap your brother) and find someone guilty. I guess this isn't as much of a lawyer as it is judge, but it's still fun. I still argue too. Mainly with my children, because let's face it, I have no adult time. I win every single time, because "I'm mom, and I said so" trumps every argument kids have. Even if it's extremely valid, I still win.

Do you KNOW how many teeth kids lose?!?! Like. A lot. And I get to pull those suckers out! I get to be dictator over teeth brushing and I get to (try to) instill good hygiene practices in my children. It's awesome. I also get to play tooth fairy, and if you're a parent and you've ever forgotten to play tooth fairy before you went to bed, you know it's a HUGE pat on the back when you remember before you wake your children up... You're a bad ass.

So. What did you want to do when you grew up? To some extent and with some silly explanation, do you do it now?

Happy home

I strive day in and day out to make sure my children grow up in a happy home. I try to be happy, and fun at all times around then. Every now and then, of course, I slip up. I'm human.

I want my children to grow up with a happy disposition. We do things on a regular basis which cost little to nothing. This past weekend, we swung by the store, picked up a few kites and sticky paddles and balls. I made sandwiches and packed them into a mini cooler I have and we went to the park. It cost 5 dollars to get in. We parked next to a huge field lined with trees, sat under a huge tree to have a picnic, and the kids spent the next few hours running around the giant field flying their kites.
We then went down to the playground where the kids played for another hour, bought sno-cones (which are an instant hit). We finished off the day by going to a Botanical Garden close to the park.

We do these kinds of things often. Things that cost nothing, but are fun and good for our family. A field is free. Balls and kites are very cheap. The exercise is good for everyone. We get to play, and in some cases learn about new things. Everyone gets hot and sweaty and we come home and are able to crash out on the couch the rest of the day.

We also do family movie nights. We find something on Netflix, or rewatch one of our movies. I make popcorn (not the microwave kind) and we bring blankets into the living room. Everyone gets in to their PJs and we sit around watching the movie. Afterwards the kids usually dance around to the music, then it's bed-time.

All of these little things we do contribute to a happy home. Kids are exercised, we've been outside, we spend time together. In addition to all of that, I make sure to keep a happy disposition (as I stated above). My kids don't see my cry, they don't see me struggle, and the don't see me when I'm upset (unless it's at them! lol) I don't fight with my fiancé, ever, but when we have a disagreement we don't talk about it in front of the kids.

What things do you do to help maintain a happy life for your kids?

Cut her some slack

I'm a single mom, as everyone knows by now. I'm also a very young mom. I just turned 26, and my son is almost 9. I got pregnant at 16 and had my son at 17. I don't tell a lot of people this because of the reaction I get. Either people know my age, or they know I have children. I can not tell you how many times I've been in a great, educated conversation with someone, and they find out I have a son that old, and their whole mood changes.

I see young moms, and I honestly sigh to myself. Not because of their choices, but because I've been in their shoes.

Having a child young was never something I wanted to do. I was an awkward kid, with not many friends. I didn't belong in the popular crowd, and I pretty much kept to myself. When I was 15, I met a guy. He had just graduated High School himself, and I thought, like any 15 year old girl, he was the greatest. We started dating, and 9 months later, I was pregnant. In my 16 year old mind, if I ignored it, it would go away. There's no way that this is happening. Well, it didn't go away. I was determined that I would not fit in to the mold of a stereotype. I saw the girls in my school with children, and I didn't fit with them. I was NOT the type of girl to have a baby in High School.

Sure enough, 3 weeks before my senior year, I gave birth to a beautiful, 7lb 13 oz, little boy. I was required to go to school the first day of school, for attendance, then I took the first 3 weeks of school off because of Doctor's orders. When I returned to school, I got the most horrible things said about me. I was called a whore, a slut, easy, etc. I was none of those things. I was still in a relationship with my son's father.

I graduated High School with a 10 month old. I opted out of college because he needed me. It might not have been the best choice, but it was the one I made. To be a mother before anything. Fast forward almost 2 years. My son's father and I got married. I was 19, a mother, and wife. I stayed home with my son, while my husband worked. Things were rough. I was young, dumb, and immature. I had to grow up fast, but I still had to learn a lot. I had a household to take care of and a son that was growing and learning and needed me.

The more my husband worked, the more distant he got. He would get late night and early morning texts from numbers not saved in his phone or from "Bob", his 70 year old boss... Things were very rocky, and a year later, we were talking about divorce. That Christmas, I had a positive pregnancy test. And 9 months later, we had a beautiful little girl.

Throughout the years, I stuck with my husband. We moved to Oregon for a little under a year, and in that time I realized I did everything alone. All my husband did was bring home money. Don't let me discount that, it's a big deal. He never interacted with the children though. I did everything. After a while there was some abuse, and I decided I was finished. I moved back home to Texas, got a job, a car, and my own apartment.

My children were 2 and 5. I struggled. I learned, I was BROKE all the time, and learned to deal with it and live comfortably, not showing the kids we didn't have money. We would still go do fun things with just us, and we always had a hot meal.

Today my children are 5 and 8. Almost 6 and 9. I've made it for this long on my own. I work, I bring home food, I cook dinner almost every night, we have family nights where we stay in and watch movies, we go out and do things like putt-putt, we go to movies, museums, parks, etc. I do it alone.
My number one priority is my children and their wellbeing. 

I am a young single mom with two young children. Until now, you didn't know my whole story. You don't know anyone's story. When you see a young mom, cut her some slack. This probably wasn't in her plan, and for all you know she is doing her very best to raise her child(ren) the best she can. It's not always easy, and it's not always fun, but it's always worth it.

Finding Balance

The hardest thing I've had to do, in the grand scheme of things, was to find balance. Balance between being Mom, and being Amber. My children's other parent is hardly around. His custody is 4 days a month. So the rest of the time, everything is my responsibility. But what happens when you go so wrapped up in school, work, laundry, cooking, and cleaning buggers out of little noses, that you lose yourself? Do you remember what it was like before kids? How... free you were? Go where ever, when ever. Didn't matter. You had no one to answer to. But once you get that title of "Parent" your priorities change, as they should. You have this new little person in your life that controls everything you do, where you go, when you go. Especially when they're younger since you have to account for naps, potty training, and eating schedule.

I realized I had lost myself when my daughter was about 3, and my son was 6. I didn't have hobbies, I hardly had friends, and I never had ME time. I never had time to go get a pedicure, or to go shopping alone, or to have lunch with a friend, and heaven forbid I had a ladies' night out. These things just weren't in my schedule. I realized I had to make time. I had to make time for me. Make time to grow as a person, and ultimately help me be a better mom.

So I made a rule and started doing little things. The rule was, I MUST look nice. No mom hair, dirty jeans, and an over sized t-shirt. I needed to look decent. I set up a time I would be doing whatever activity, I'd find a sitter, and I would go. The first couple of times were weird. I was texting constantly to figure out if my children were ok. But when I walked out of that salon, with pampered feet, I felt so much better. The rest of the night I was in a great mood simply because I got to go do something that I wanted to do, free of children, free of anything.

It's amazing how something so small can make you feel so good. It is so important that parents have "me" time. Whether it's for an hour, or for a weekend. Just to get to kick back, relax, maybe cut loose a little. Finding your inner happiness will do wonders for you soul and for your relationship with your children. It's kind of along the same lines as my other post, being a fun parent, Every once in a while, you need to laugh. If you don't laugh, you're going to go crazy, you're going to be angry, you're going to become that person you never wanted to be.

What do you do for me time? What would you like to do?

Taco Bites!

I spent a good part of the day yesterday browsing pintrest for ideas for dinner. I had taken out a pound of ground beef and wanted to make something a little different than the normal things we ALWAYS have. I didn't find any ONE thing I loved, so I combined a few things.

Ingredients:
1 bag Tostitos Scoops
1 lb ground beef
1 1/2 cup tomato paste
1 can refried beans (or make your own, I'm just lazy)
1 bag Mexican Style cheese

First, I browned the meat, seasoned it with garlic and onion powder, pepper, and a tiny bit of salt. Drain the meat and return to the pan. Add tomato paste, let simmer. Preheat the over for 350, Line chips on a cook sheet. Take the back of the spoon and drag into refried beans, smear on one side of chip, fill the rest of the chip with ground beef, and top with cheese. Bake for 10 minutes.

We had a side of sour cream we topped ours with,  but you could use anything. Tomatos, olives, lettuce... anything!

The kids GOBBLED these up. My daughter, who eats like a bird, had about 15 of them. My son, who eats like a horse, probably had an entire cookie sheet to himself (I made 2). These are tasty, easy, and fast. Perfect for an on the go mom like me :)

Filled with meat and beans


Fresh out of the oven


 Yummy!

5 Minute Clean-Up

As a single working mom with 2 kids, the house tends to get a little out of hand sometimes. When I get off work at 5, I'm home with the kids by 5:30. We have 2.5 hours to eat, do homework, read, bathe, and be in bed by 8. When they're in bed, it's my time to clean up and relax as much as possible before going to bed to wake up and repeat it all the next day.

Sounds pretty simple right? No. Kids forget things. Their shoes get left in weird places, socks get left where they fall, backpacks and contents scattered all over the floor, spilt crayons, along with the dishes, the floors, the clothes, cleaning the cat stuff. It gets a bit out of hand sometimes.

So I started something called, "The 5 Minute Clean-up", Where we take 5 minutes, and clean. If the kids are caught not cleaning in that 5 minutes, the time gets started over. They take this very seriously and when the timer is started they RUSH to clean as much as possible in the 5 minutes (which was never a rule). Their rooms get clean in 5 minutes flat when before, it would take an entire day to keep them on task cleaning their room.

Our 5 minute clean-up happens right after dinner. I usually go rinse the dishes and stick them in the dishwasher. When I was a kid, I would have spent 5 minutes cleaning a table, or slowly picking something up and putting it back in it's place. There is no reward for the 5 minute clean up, it just happens. After it's all said and done, the house looks just a little better, but by the end of the week, We've completely kept up with the house cleaning and our house isn't a disaster. It's nice.

After taking the 5 (sometimes 10) minutes to clean, we go about the rest of our nightly routine. It takes so little time and it feels like we get so much done. The kids enjoy it because the house is clean and I'm happy. Plus they get a high five, and there's pretty much nothing my kids won't do for a high five.

What do you do to keep your house clean?